When you think to care for others, do you think you have to be a nurse or something? Does that mean that you are supposed to become like one genie in the bottle? No way! That simply implies a gentle way to share common unity. Some things, people have to deal with on their own.
If you are a true friend, if you are a loyal person, if you follow our cultural models, if you are a Christian who is his brother's keeper, then your loyalty comes with a kuleana and that is to align your choices with what is pono.
That's not always giving someone what they really want. Sometimes, people are really wanting things that aren't good for them and even though we all have choices, you can change those choices at any given time, if only you realized both your gifts and responsibilities.
Sometimes, teenagers get into some really dark behaviors whether it is drinking and driving or something we might not want to refer to here, for subject sensitivity. Rather than tell you the truth, they act out in behavior. You are left to guess what they mean, based on what you know. Um, they're teenagers. You only know what you know.
By giving into their threats when they throw a hissy fit, is not loyalty. Its like giving them a license to do whatever it is that they are running from you to go do. You don't know what danger they are putting themselves in and you are unable to protect them if you don't know.
When we have a family member who is out there wrecking their life, we have to look at each interaction with them as a new one and make our decisions based on what we are seeing now. So many of our families are all falling apart, due to supporting those who are falling apart, that we are going to have to look into something different. Something that doesn't cost, something that doesn't stretch us thinner, something quick and easy to make it just one step easier to deal with and keep moving. We don't all want to analyze everything for hours every day just to get our point sunk.
So after spending hours looking for solutions, it came that all we need to do is to change our approach on things. Of course, everything in life comes with a due process, practice and circumstances. But who would have thought that we can solve a lot of our issues for free?
Let's give the little things a try. Somewhere in the modern world, we've lost the little things... Let's try to spend one hour each week with each member of our family, and send them to do the same with another loved and cherished one. Please don't block someone from loving someone else that you don't like, in the family. Just let the love flow and keep practicing it for a few months. After 6 months, take a deeper look to see if there were any changes in behaviors or relationships.
Lokahi
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