Kekahi i Kekahi

What does that mean to you? 

Do you think that is when you quietly malama a family member who is tearing their life apart?  When you don't say anything, but continue to help them while they take advantage of you?

Is it when those kids are suffering, so you buy them an ice cream but are afraid to advocate for them, for fear of stepping on toes? What about the suffering you see that child going through?  Ten years later, that be the same teen or young adult having kids while you shake your head that they turned out to be as horrible as their childhood was.

Is it when you need to have ho'oponopono with someone and you just keep hammering them on every social interaction they have on fb? 

Is it when you choose not to have time with your kupuna because you don't feel like cleaning their yard?  But you'll call them for money, though.

Just what is kekahi i kekahi?

It is when you are strong yet mild about adjusting unacceptable behaviors.

It is that gentle hand when we see our loved ones falling down. 

It is when we can dedicate one day a month to help someone in their yard - we all don't have a yard, you know.  So helping another with theirs, might help you teach your keiki how to malama ka 'aina. 

Kekahi i kekahi is when we come together without the slander, and remember that we are all here for the same reason.  It is the time where we kook at one another and respect one another's level and stance.

If we are going to achieve our inherent & unalienable rights as a people, then we might want to align ourselves as such because we are too soft on allowing hewa to happen before our eyes, while thinking that we don't have to take responsibility for what's ours to begin with.  

Aloha Kekahi i Kekahi

If you're not in the condition to raise your child, do not be selfish and keep them because you think that is what love is.  Let the child go where they are being nurtured and malama who is caring for them.  Don't make your child miserable. That's not love.

If you need an excuse to party all the time, please don't blame that on our culture and think that's alright.  Your kupuna'iwi are turning in what used to be their grave, before you allowed some corporation to build something on top of it, because you failed to malama their grave when it was there.  If corporations begin to see that we abandoned the graves because we don't have a westernized gravemarker to pinpoint the site, then the corporations are going to take the opportunity to monopolize our lands, exploiting everything Ko Hawai'i Pae 'Aina, while we bitch and complain over an American beer in the park somewhere.

Aloha Kekahi i Kekahi

In a community of 8000, a serious decision was made on another island.  Residents were upset, but did nothing more than complain amongst themselves and to their local rep at the store checkout, impromptu.  Some people even got drunk or high because they needed the excuse.  But only a handful of people got on the computer and sent testimony.  One kupuna went to the meeting and spoke out for his people.  But nobody else was there to back him up.  Hardly any emails were sent in, nobody complained where the powers that made the decision were.  People only got mad.

Misdirected anger.

But not Kekahi i Kekahi

Poi prices are on the rise, as our farmers are having to upgrade operations prior to trying to go commercial with their product, making it hard for everybody to reach and get.  In other news today, we don't have enough commercialized poi production going on.  Do we know why? Do we know why only certain varieties are accessible in the market? I'm willing to bet that if those who have land wouldn't mind hosting a monthly work day with pa'ina, which would make for a great family day together, as a common+unity.

Aloha Kekahi i Kekahi

You don't have to be the first to go at a 4 way stop sign and don't be afraid to wave to your distant cousin in opposing traffic. Is that a practice of the past?  What, we only pick up woofers along the roadside these days?  Still complaining about America but becoming more American every day, are we?  

You can help the woofer, but can you say hi to your cousin too? Our kupuna are always talking about that and frankly, maybe its that stinking phone always in our hand or that even stupider ego that keeps our different groups divided? 

When people don't honor the very values they call themselves protecting, it really does hurt our kupuna because after 30+ years of doing this, they can't even afford to put the torch down to enjoy retirement and go visiting family or something.  Our kupuna are too bogged down taking care of our responsibilities, our children, all the bills & taxes, and lending money to younger members of the family who aren't being fully responsible for themselves yet.

Each and every one of us is guilty of something, and one is no worse than the other.  You could probably name a bad parent, but if you are witnessing it and not helping it get better, than you are just as bad.  You could criticize a family for not taking care of its kupuna or kuleana, but if you are not stepping up, but you have time to talk about it, then you are just as guilty.

Let's practice together.  One step at a time,  change is never easy. Let us begin to tolerate one another's views.  Let us begin to wave at our local families, driving by.  Let us help that kupuna put their groceries in the car, or take the shopping cart back for them.  I promise that 20 feet of putting a shopping cart back will not make you an hour late or hurt you. It will bring you blessings for honoring your kupuna. Let us take one day every so often, to malama something or somebody.  I promise, it won't kill us.  It actually sustained our kupuna, but let me not bring up history unless I have a 12 point degree, for the westernized Hawaiian-Americans to verify.

I can't possibly know what I am saying, without one.

Aloha Kekahi i Kekahi

Let's practice using it the way we so easily say it.